My decision to write on the subject of single parenting was fuelled by the comments and reactions of some people over time. Most of these had been quite negative and it got me thinking about how my late Mum would have felt while raising five children, especially in an African culture, where society pass unwritten law or judgement that most single mums must have been rebellious to their husbands or not submissive.
Single Parents; whether widowed, divorced or separated have their own stories. They have a path that they have walked through that might have either cost them their lives or their mental well-being. They are survivors!
They have practically sacrificed their own lives for their children. Most of them toil day and night to provide for their children. I have heard people who are fortunate to be raised by both parents make comments even to people like myself maybe the Single Parent did not persevere enough and I laughed, because I know some really persevered and even died untimely especially in abusive relationships.
Others may have even ended up either in psychiatric hospital or eventually committed suicide, leaving the children with unanswered questions on how their mothers became deceased. Don’t judge even if you cannot be a friend, be civil! I am sure the so-called fortunate ones, cannot bear a teaspoonful of what most single parents must have been through.
I am sure someone might be thinking, is she married? Or does she believe in the institution called marriage?
I am married and I believe in marriage as a beautiful institution ordained by God.
I am sure every single parent must have dreamt of a blissful marriage happily ever after, but the tide turned and they must survive with their children.
Before passing judgements, look at the children these single parents are providing for, and imagine if your sister or your children were in the same situation; how would you want them to be treated?
Spare a thought for those single parents out there and even if you are unsure of the reasons for their current state, do well to encourage and make them feel appreciated.
For those Single Mums or Dads out there, know assuredly that regardless of how you got to this point, you are a treasured, loved and valued.
Lastly, life is a journey with everyone taking each step one at a time; so let us sow love and kindness, not hatred! God Bless you!
(c) Funmi Adeyemo April 2017
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